To Have and To Hold, A Marriage Bundle

I am learning to be more candid in my blog posts. I tend to be somewhat private when it comes to my personal life, but I believe that, when we go through something hard, the Lord intends for us to use that experience in some way for the good of others. That is what brings me to this post.

I almost lost my marriage. That's right. We're a Christian, homeschooling, ministry-focused family, and we almost lost one of God's most precious gifts. It was several years ago, so those of you who know me well know the time period I'm talking about.  It was my fault as much as it was my husband's fault, and I won't burden you with all the gory details. I'll just say that we dug a very deep trench for ourselves and digging out of that trench took a lot of hard work and dedication to the institution of marriage and to each other.

During that time, we attended marriage retreats (which we would do again in a heartbeat because whether or not your marriage is in jeopardy, marriage retreats ROCK!), we saw four different counselors in three different states, I read books (my husband isn't much of a reader), we prayed, we cried, we talked, we yelled, we searched and begged God for an answer to our problems. It was the most challenging season of our life. I'm glad to say that we've come out on the other side of it stronger, more secure in our marriage and ready to tackle several more decades of life together. I can't imagine my life without Eric.

I think that if Eric and I had used all the right tools from the beginning of our marriage, our situation would have been much different. If we had attended retreats, read books, prayed and read the Word together and worked to connect each day, we wouldn't have headed down that almost fatal road for our marriage. Don't you agree? Marriage is worth the time it takes to make it work.

Eternal Encouragement's Marriage Bundle, To Have and to Hold, is a fantastic tool to help you and your spouse put that time into your marriage whether you are in a season of trouble like we once were or a season of joy. It is phenomenal. When I began opening the many files that come with this bundle, I was flabbergasted at the amount of information included in this packet. I can't even imagine the amount of time that went into creating this. As I read through the material, I found myself laughing, crying and, more than anything, challenged to do things better in my own marriage.

Included in this downloadable bundle is the following:

• Audios
  • 5R's Session 2 - Rekindle
  • One Life to Live, One Man to Love

• E-Books
  • Loving Your Knight in Shining Armor Even When He Doesn't Shine
  • Roadmap to a Marvelous Marriage
  • Marriage Tidbits to Treasure
  • Quotes Not Quibbles
  • Marriage Report

• E-Booklets
  • 31 Daily Biblical Prayers for Wives to Pray for Their Husbands
  • Encouragement Report
  • Don't Settle 
  • What God Says about Marriage
  • 75 Inexpensive Romantic Rut Cures
  • It Happened One Afternoon

• Magazine Back Issues
  • 2001 Summer Issue TEACH Magazine "Loving Your Husband"
  • 2009 Spring Issue TEACH Magazine "Marriages Made Marvelous"
   

All of this delivered to your inbox for only $39.97!!! Want it delivered to your mailbox instead? You can get it shipped to you for only $49.97. There is so much material here. You couldn't possibly find this much great advice on marriage anywhere else for such an affordable price.  While the contents are listed above, even that doesn't give you the full idea of what you're getting.

• It Happened One Afternoon is a beautiful story of a married couple in post World War II America. I was captivated by the short story and in tears by the end. 
• 75 Inexpensive Romantic Rut Cures offers simple, everyday ideas to spice things up in your marriage, and most of them cost nothing at all!  
• I'm working through 31 Biblical Prayers for Wives to Pray for their Husbands with fervor. We all need to be reminded to pray for our men from time to time, and this is a great tool to remind us how our husbands need to be prayed for. It offers a different focus for each day of the month.
• Don't Settle was another short story that I enjoyed so much, and it was filled with so much wisdom and truth.
• Quotes not Quibbles contains 72 pages of material to encourage you in your marriage! 
• What God Says About Marriage is filled with several pages of Bible verses all about marriage. What a great way to begin doing a Bible study with your spouse!

I'm still just giving you a snippet of what you'll get when you purchase this bundle. As I said, I'm flabbergasted at the amount of material that is included for this price. It is so very worth it. Your husband is worth it. Your kids are worth it. Your marriage is worth. YOU are worth it!

To purchase this product go to www.eternalencouragement.com. Check out all the products available in their store. Peruse their site to find so much more while you're there. I have to say that Eternal Encouragment is my favorite new website of the year so far. I think you'll be encouraged by what you find there as well!

Disclaimer: I received this product for honest review as part of the Gabby Moms program. I was not compensated for this post.

Noteworthy Scribblings

I've been ignoring my house for the most part today including school (which we will get to soon). I'm fighting a cold (I know. Whine, whine). While ignoring everything, my 7 year old daughter produced this on her own. Since my blog seems to have taken a hit lately because of our busy schedule, and I'm ignoring responsibilities anyway, I figured I should post it and show off her skills. I'm so proud of her crazy spelling and the fact that she knows all of the fruits of the Spirit!

The froot of the sperit is not a cockunute.

If you wut too be a cockunute you mite-es well here it.

Cuss the froot of the serit is 

love

joy

pess

pashinshins

kindnis

goodnis

kindnis (she hit that one 2x and missed faithfulness. I'm okay with that.)

gentlniss

self kenchrll.

The actual song goes like this (in case some of those spellings were a little too crazy to follow for those of you who don't know the song:

The fruit of the Spirit's not a coconut (repeat).

If you want to be a coconut, you might as well hear it,

You can't be a fruit of the Spirit (she left a couple lines out).

'Cuz the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Didn't she do pretty well? I realize some 1st graders are more advanced than this, but this is showing great strides for my Ava. She's really blossoming right now, and I'm so proud of how much she has learned this year!

The Simple Woman's Daybook #89

Outside my window...The weather has taken a turn that I don't care for. 50 degrees and rain in mid-May is simply unacceptable. ;)

I am thinking...that I will have more time to offer my blog soon and that I do not like my current blog background. Change is coming!

 
I am thankful for... little things that make me smile, like a free metronome application on my phone.

 
I am wearing...yellow pajamas.

 
I am remembering...lazy summer days.

I am creating...summer schooling plans.

I am going... to enjoy my children's upcoming recitals in spite of the fact that we're all feeling like we just need to survive the next 2 1/2 weeks.

I am reading...The Silver Chair.

 
I am hoping... that we all feel well ASAP.

 
On my mind... helping my family get and stay healthy.

From the learning rooms... long division, subtraction by 8, Wee Gillis, The Silver Chair, and art.

Noticing that...I'm really going to miss not living as close to my mother-in-law as I did for the past 5 years.

 
From the kitchen...crockpot chicken curry with quinoa pilaf (because it was quicker than rice). DELICIOUS and super easy!

Around the house...my tomatoes, herbs and flowers need to be planted this week.

One of my favorite things... watching Ava dance.

 
Praying for...the family cold/sore throat to go away.

 

A verse to share...I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I hope. Psalm 130:5

 

A song to share...

I lost my keys in the great unknown
And call me please 'Cuz I can't find my phone

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

This week's video won't let me embed it in my blog, but you can go to this link and give it a listen. I LOVE this song, and I love Francesca Battistelli!!!

THIS IS THE STUFF

A few plans for this week... more cleaning and organizing, school, chemo for Mom and a weekend at home!

If you enjoy dwelling on the simple things in life and want to participate in this, CLICK HERE to read all about it and join us! Leave me a comment so I know to check out your blog to see your post!

The Simple Woman's Daybook #88

 

Outside my window...the weather is GLORIOUS, and it is NOT raining!!!! Woohoo!

I am thinking...about doing the things I don't want to do.

 
I am thankful for... the best Mother's Day I can remember ever having.

 
I am wearing...gray cropped yoga pants and an old tan t-shirt.

 
I am remembering...swimming lessons at Lake Park when you could actually swim in the lake.

I am creating...a healthy grocery list and meal plan.

I am going... to spend a lot of time snuggling my girl today.

I am reading...nothing. I'm going to remedy that. I need a good book just for me.

 
I am hoping... that Ava's fever breaks today.

 
On my mind... getting healthy, organized and feeling back to normal.

From the learning rooms... hmmm...I should do some planning.

Noticing that...my husband sometimes does little things that are so important to me, and it means so much.

 
From the kitchen...swiss steak, mashed potatoes and probably green beans this evening.

Around the house...my house needs some TLC.

One of my favorite things... snuggling with my girl.

 
Praying for...Ava to feel better.

 

A verse to share...He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by Him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities-all things were created through Him and for Him. And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. And He is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. For in Him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through Him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of His cross. Colossians 1:15-20

 

A song to share...This is a band I just discovered today called Rend Collective Experiment.

 

A picture thought...

 

Me with Mom on Mother's Day

A few plans for this week... dinner with friends, cleaning and organizing the house, yard work, and regional Bible quiz.

If you enjoy dwelling on the simple things in life and want to participate in this, CLICK HERE to read all about it and join us! Leave me a comment so I know to check out your blog to see your post!

Holding Tightly

I wrote the following post for The Intentional Journey. The topic for the past week's posts has been grief, so wander over there and see some of the powerful, exceptionally moving posts that others have written. Bring some tissues. I went through several when I was reading them, but sometimes tears are good. Below you will find my post.

I committed to writing this post thinking that it would be pretty straight forward. I knew that I would have to dig deep in order for the guts of the post to be meaningful. I've experienced grief in a variety of forms, so, while I knew tears would be a part of this post, it didn't seem like writing it would cause me that much frustration. I was so wrong. This is re-write number 6 or 7. The first two tries didn't even make it past the first paragraph.

Grief has tapped on my door many times. Loss of loved ones. Infertility. Job loss. Interstate moves. National tragedies. All of those things brought me through various stages of grief. Some of those things still deliver grief to my doorstep occasionally, but they all pale in comparison to watching my mom suffer from cancer.

Prior to this season of my life, I would have told you that secondary infertility was the hardest thing I had ever experienced in my life. Watching others have child after child is so hard for those of us who suffer from this. We mourn the absence of the children we dream of, the children we believe God still has for us, month after month, year after year. We watch as others "accidentally" conceive, and we absolutely do not understand when they heartlessly try to explain their feelings about their unexpected (and sometimes unwanted) surprise to us knowing how desperately we want another baby. It's crushing. I am thrilled when someone shares their pregnancy news with me. Don't get me wrong. I truly am thrilled. Holding my niece and nephews when they were babies are some of the happiest memories for me, and I love holding anyone's little one when given the opportunity. Even so, that desperate longing for my own babies has brought grief to my door for years.

Still, when it comes down to it, nothing compares to the grief I have experienced in the past four months. My mom was diagnosed with uterine cancer at the end of December. I refused to google it. I refused to ask too many questions. I chose to ignore "it." I didn't say cancer. I didn't confront cancer. I pretended that cancer was something that only effected someone else. I assumed the best prognosis would belong to my mother. I tried not to think about cancer at all. Cancer. Cancer. Cancer. I hated the word. Still do. My reaction to this news was so polar opposite to how I normally handle the tough issues in life that I can't even explain to you why I reacted this way. I would never have imagined that I would behave like this.

Two days before Mom's surgery to remove her cancer, I decided I should know something about this form of cancer and that I should probably try to act like a grown-up. I googled uterine cancer and found that the prognosis is usually pretty good, that, if it is found early, it is almost always curable these days. Mom's cancer was found early. We had hope. The doctors expected to find stage 1 cancer and planned a hysterectomy so we headed to the hospital to get the job done.

When the doctor came to speak to Dad and me as we waited in the enormous waiting area at The Ohio State University's James Cancer Center, one of the top cancer centers in the nation, we were stunned to silence. We knew Mom had an amazing doctor. We knew that whatever he had to say would be accurate and real. He showed up in the waiting area too early. We knew it wasn't good. Even now as I remember it, my heart is pounding in my chest and tears are threatening to flow down my cheeks.

As I listened to the doctor, I tried to choke out questions rather than the sobs I was fighting. Stage 4. 2-3 months if she didn't have chemo. 2-3 years if she did. It'll mostly likely come back. Aggressive. Cancer.

Cancer.

Cancer.

After living through the next several days which I can barely remember, anger showed up. I mean, seriously? 2-3 years with my mom? Not good enough. Watching my mom possibly die in her 50s? Not part of my personal plan. Seeing her in pain? Watching her become exhausted and lose her hair because of strong doses of chemotherapy? Seeing the grief on her face and hearing it in her voice and knowing that her life is an emotional roller coaster right now? Watching Dad's heart break with the news? None of this is supposed to happen. I want 2-3 decades with Mom. She's 53. Isn't that reasonable?

Cancer...makes my heart break. It makes my chest tight. It makes me want to scream or be silent...or both.

My mama has cancer. I want to fix it. I can't.

So grief? Yeah. I've experienced it. Right now, I'm experiencing it like never before, and I hate it. I am not always moving forward the way I would like. I am not always making the choices I expected myself to make. I am not always understanding my emotions or why the silliest things make me cry. Last week, I bought the same body wash that mom buys just to have something like hers in the house. Ridiculous! When I use it, I cry! Why do I do these things to myself?

If nothing else is good in this situation, I am glad that I have a God who is seeing me through it. What I can't imagine is how someone does this without Jesus. When I think about that, my heart breaks all over again in a completely different way. I couldn't do this without Him. I couldn't watch Mom's hair thin and hear her talk about exhaustion and nausea without knowing that He was going to carry her through this and that He will carry me through it too.

I don't know His plan. I don't know how long I have with my mom. Any of us could die tomorrow if we really get down to it. The only certainty I have is that HE knows the plans He has for me, and those plans are good and perfect. Whatever He has for me, I'll take it because it doesn't compare to what He went through on the cross. That's what gets me out of bed.

I'm such a selfish girl. The thought of possibly losing my mom and having to wait to see her in heaven doesn't bring me comfort right now. It will some day. I know it will. But now? I want her here for always. I want to always be able to call her for recipes, to chat about my kids, to talk about everything and nothing at all, to have lunch dates and shopping sprees...

Sigh.

I love my mama. I'm so grateful for this time I have with her. I'll cherish every moment. If nothing else, I have already learned that these moments we have are fleeting. Grab hold of them and don't let go until you have to. I'm holding tighter than ever before.

Weekly Wrap-Up: Dogwood Festival

We really tried to get back into the swing of things this week(and last week and the week before that...). Really, really. Getting back into the school groove since moving has proven to be more challenging than I expected. When we went for our assessment (which I realize I never wrote about the way I usually do), she suggested I simplify our schedule and focus on the basics (math, reading), getting settled and spending time with Mom. I thought that I could not possibly do such a thing, but, the further I get into this, the more I'm considering it. I am planning topics for science and history over the next few weeks that I think the kids will enjoy, and I've reserved some new Five in a Row books, but we'll see how things actually work out. Next week will be better (I hope).

This week brought us one step closer to long division. It's going slowly, but, I expected that. If I had taken the time to write about our assessment, you would know that both my kids need a special 90 minute eye exam that very well may answer a lot of questions. For example, why is my extremely bright child forgetting the basics as soon as a math problem becomes complex(like, how many times does 3 go into 6...um. He's got that down)? That's what we've been facing this past week. I am taking it slowly until we get the eye test done, which I am hoping will be in June.

Ava is reading a 1930s reader right now called Boys and Girls at Work and Play. Mom gave it to me, and I keep meaning to ask her where she got it. Ava is loving it. I've been paying close attention as she reads to me each day. Dr. Holinga, our assessor who I highly, highly recommend(CLICK HERE if you live in central Ohio and want to check out her site), suggested that I keep Ava's lessons at 5 minutes for reading. Instead, I've been paying attention to when the mistakes start happening. This is working very well since, as soon as she misses 4-5 words which I know that she knows, we stop for the day. It happens somewhere between 7 and 10 minutes every single day. Isn't that interesting that Dr. Holinga called that so well? This makes me think that the eye exam really might move us toward a better learning environment for both kids.

Being back in my hometown has proven to be wonderful for me. The Dogwood Festival, which is a local festival focused on supporting the arts (You so know the McEvoys had to be part of that!), was this week. I remember performing at the lunch hour concerts and at a special recital they held at The Pomerene Center for the Arts. Those are great memories! 

On Wednesday, we got to see my high school alma mater's jazz band, choir and Caribbean drum ensemble perform. The jazz band sounded fantastic! The choir did an a capella piece called Shout to God that was gorgeous! And the Caribbean drum ensemble? Incredible! I kept thinking about how much my sister, who is a percussionist, would have loved, loved, loved to be a part of it if they had offered it when we were in high school. They were amazing! I would actually go hear them again and again! They were truly talented high school musicians.

Yesterday, we also headed to the town square for the lunchtime concert. The Warsaw Honor Choir was singing. Warsaw was my elementary school. I promise we didn't choose the days we were going to attend because of loyalty. It's just the way it worked out. If we weren't stuck at home with one child suffering from pink eye, we would have attended another local high school's performance today. Anyway, the choir was very good. They did several patriotic pieces, some familiar show tunes and ended their concert with a Michael W. Smith song called All is Well that warmed my heart. It's nice to be back in a community that still honors God in these ways.

Last night we headed to Lake Park to let the kids play and to enjoy the fact that it was NOT raining for a change. Afterward, we sat by the lake and sang some worship songs and had a special family prayer time since it was the National Day of Prayer. Side note...On our way to the park, there were people surrounding the court house square reading the Word out loud. It was a powerful sight!!! We had to roll down the window to listen. Anyway, worshiping at Lake Park together was glorious. I don't think we'll wait for the National Day of Prayer to do that again.

As I said, we've been home all day today since Lukas has pink eye and a head cold. He's miserable! We were planning to attend a free concert at First Friday this evening, but we're settling in to watch Voyage of the Dawn Treader instead. Actually, I'm finishing this after watching the movie. It was pretty good. It strayed from the book and made it a little scarier than I would have liked, but the message was the same overall.

That's a wrap on this week's happenings. For more creative ideas, words of wisdom and general info about the ins and outs of homeschooling, visit Weird Unsocialized Homeschoolers.

The Simple Woman's Daybook #87

Outside my window...the temperatures are dropping. Boo.

I am thinking...about Lukas and what he needs from me right now. Moving is hard.

 
I am thankful for... the time I have recently been able to spend with my mom.

 
I am wearing...brown yoga pants, tan top.

 
I am remembering...how hard it can be to make new friends when you are 7 or 9.

I am creating...lesson plans.

I am going... to get very, very tired of driving to Columbus this month.

I am reading...The Silver Chair. Or I will be tomorrow. ;)

 
I am hoping... to find the right church for our family.

 
On my mind... figuring out the best way to help my children settle into their new community...very soon.

From the learning rooms... Mephibosheth, challenging division, subtraction by 9, Bible quizzing review, more Narnia because it rocks, reading a 1930s reader that Ava loves and art (because I promised).

Noticing that...portable DVD players allow grown-ups to have incredible, meaningful talks during long car rides.

 
From the kitchen...I made lasagna over the weekend. Other than that, nothing extraordinary has taken place in my kitchen in recent weeks.

Around the house...More carpets to clean and boxes to unpack upstairs (after the carpets are cleaned) and the downstairs needs a fresh mopping.

One of my favorite things... relaxed movie nights with my three favorite people. It's been too long.

 
Praying for...a new church home, the hearts of my kiddos.

 

A verse to share..."As surely as I live," declares the Sovereign Lord, "I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked but rather that they turn from their ways and live." Ezekiel 33:11

A few plans for this week... cleaning, laundry, a Dogwood Festival concert or two and another trip to Columbus for a kids ensemble performance.

If you enjoy dwelling on the simple things in life and want to participate in this, CLICK HERE to read all about it and join us! Leave me a comment so I know to check out your blog to see your post!