The Unworthy Soccer Mom

I am completely unworthy of the soccer mom title. Tonight, the rain hit the field about 10 minutes before practice was supposed to end, and I sat in my cozy van thinking, "Should I pull him off the field? He has a cold. Do I want him to be playing in this weather?" My conundrum quickly passed as the coach decided they weren't going to practice in the rain. I was relieved because this spared me of the guilt I was wrestling with. 

It seems like a no-win situation for me. I want my child to be healthy and to get exercise, so I should let him play no matter the weather, right? He's in 5th grade, not preschool, so when does he need to buck up a little and play in the rain even if it is frigid (it isn't exactly frigid today, but you get the point)? 

But then? He has a cold, and I'm his mother. Shouldn't I be guiding him toward taking care of his body when he's sick because I want him to get healthy? Shouldn't I be protecting him from situations in which he will likely become even more sick than he is?

It seems like no matter what choice I make, I might be making the wrong choice. Maybe there isn't a perfect choice. What would you do?

Add to this the fact that I don't like to sit in the cold rain to watch a soccer game. Yeah. I pretty much stink as a soccer mom, don't I? I'm seriously not worthy of the title. I know this. I don't really even think of myself as a soccer mom. I like to think that I'm more well rounded as a mom than that title suggests. Dance mom sounds crazy (thank you TLC). Basketball mom? Who has that title? Bible thumper? Ha.Ha.Ha.

Maybe I'm being ridiculous. Maybe I should be proud of the title, but it just sounds so busy to me. I am busy, but I am selective. When I think "soccer mom" I think of stressed-out housewives running from one field to the next, one game after another, balancing too much in too little time all from the confines of their mini-van as they run carpool for the entire neighborhood. That's not me. I like to have choices, and that scenario involves locking yourself into not having many choices.

I would like to choose to not freeze my tush off at a soccer game. 

But if he plays, I will be there because that's what we do, right? Rain or shine. Sleet or hail.  It's a good thing that I really, really, REALLY like watching soccer games.

This Saturday's weather forecast isn't looking very positive. 40s and rain. Blech.

My soccer player has a cold. We shall see how he is feeling and if that forecast becomes a reality.

And I will feel guilty no matter what I choose.

On the Civil War as we Begin

Disclaimer: I just created a new category for this post entitled, "Stuff I don't Usually Write."
 
Today I read a story about a very creative slave who escaped the south by shipping himself in a box (with air holes) to the abolitionist society in Philadelphia. Isn't that a terrific story? I would love to have met that man. My kids agree.

We also looked at a piece of cotton from a plantation in Mississippi thanks to my friend, Andrea, who just randomly gave it to me a week ago thinking I might like to have it since I homeschool. We read about Eli Whitney and the cotton gin and how this great invention increased the tensions between the north and south. Lukas copied a quote that I love so much that it's going to spend some time on our bulletin board.

"Never do a wrong thing to make a friend of keep one."

Do you know who said such a thing? Lukas was surprised, and it inspired a nice conversation between us about how things aren't always as they seem, and people aren't always the way society makes you think they are. I intend to surprise my kids a few more times as we study this great war between the states. 


Have you figured it out yet? Robert E. Lee. You know, the guy that no one is supposed to like because he fought for the south? As I said to my kids today, the Civil War wasn't as cut and dry, or maybe I should say, black and white, as our history books like us to believe it was. We'll never know how much painstaking thought and prayer went into Lee's decision to fight for the south, but, if you choose to read about him, you will find that he was a many faceted man, and you may even come to like him. I  kind of do.

I love that my children get to learn truth in my house. I love that they get to hear all of the sides of the story so that they can decide for themselves what they believe. The Civil War wasn't just about slavery. It was so much more, and I often wonder who really won. Enslaved men were freed. They definitely won, and we are all better for it. Because of that I can't say that the Civil War wasn't worth some losses, but the losses which we are still battling against in this country because of the Civil War are many, and I think it is safe to say that the majority of Americans have no idea. 


Once a state loses its right to govern itself in any small way, the federal government slowly takes over. All of the states of this great country lost in the Civil War. We lost men. We lost dignity. We lost power. We lost freedom, and those who gained freedom for the first time would never be as free as the free people were before the war. 


Abolition. States rights. Cotton. All major players in the Civil War. I'm so grateful that all men are free in this country, but I can't look back at what we lost as a country, as individual states, and not realize that no one won that war. If only there had been a more civil way to reach the end result of abolishing slavery. 


Civil War.


The greatest oxymoron ever to crush our country.

Moving Anniversary

One year. The day after Easter marked exactly one year since moving to this house. This small town. This place we now call home. This place where traffic jams are 6 cars in a single file line stuck behind a tractor on the highway. This place where everyone goes to the county fair because it is awesome. This place where life feels so much more relaxed, so much slower, so much more like the way God wants it to be.

One year sounds like a long time when you're looking forward, but it feels like the blink of an eye when looking back, most of the time. I can look back at the 18 months during which we lived in PA fully aware that it was, at that time, the most difficult 18 months of our lives.

Moving to Columbus was a breath of fresh air.

And moving away from Columbus was also a breath of fresh air.

One that I'm not sure we even realized we needed. The first several months were crazy and hectic and I don't remember them fondly at all because we were living in two cities, traveling to Columbus and spending a couple nights there each week until the kids' dance and piano recitals were complete.

I remember the moment when we drove away from the high school after Ava's dance recital better than the moment when we drove away from the house where we spent 5 years of our lives. It was the moment when I realized that chapter was over. Completely.

And I felt indifference and guilt because I didn't feel as sad as I thought that I should feel after spending 5 years of my life in Columbus. We had family there. We had a great church. We had friends.

But...

We weren't intimately tied to any of those things as much as we wanted to be.  We anticipated that things would be very different. We were moving to Eric's hometown when we headed to Columbus. We had connections with family and friends. The problem was, those people had lives and friends and didn't need us. Or maybe they were just busy.

Who we are as kids isn't who we are as adults, and some people can't move past that. This means, in some relationships, you are so different that you don't have that intimate friendship you had at 16, and there's nothing that either person can do about it. In other relationships, it means you can't have a relationship at all because one person can't move past who you were at 14, and they choose to still believe you are that immature adolescent. It is what it is, right? It's hard work to change people's minds, and we found, after 5 years of trying diligently to prove ourselves to those people, it wasn't really worth it. It wasn't worth it at all. Unfortunately, sometimes, a family is too damaged to repair individual relationships within itself. This was a sad lesson for us to learn even though most of the reasons surrounding it weren't directly our fault.

This has worked toward our benefit here in Coshocton. Who I was at 16 didn't really allow me to be close to my sister's friend, Stephanie, but who she and I have become allows us to be very close now, and our husbands love each other. Steph and Robbie were here at our new house waiting for us when our moving truck pulled up to the curb. They were the first ones here and the last to leave. They've offered us hospitality over and over, and we have welcomed them here. It is a friendship that we will forever cherish. 

And they aren't the only ones with whom God has allowed us to connect our reconnect with since moving here. I could dribble on and on about the friendships we are growing here, people we have re-connected with, new friendships, a church where we are loved. Most importantly, we spend so much time with my parents. For that, I will always feel blessed when I think of how God orchestrated this move for us. Circumstances weren't ideal, but God made it clear that He wanted us here, and He has shown us in marvelous ways that this move was completely and totally in His perfect plan for us.

This place has always been somewhat magical to me. No matter where I have lived, this place, this small town of Coshocton, always lured me back with it's tree covered hills, shallow canals, fields bursting with corn and soy beans, and people. I can't say enough about the people. 

I love being here, and I love that this one year has shown us how much we belong here. This is where God has planted our family, and this is where we are blooming. I am grateful for our one year moving anniversary, and I hope to have many, many more.

The Homeschool Mother's Journal

In my life this week...

Sickness. That's kind of what defined this week. Three of us have head colds (and I'm starting to think it has a strangle hold on me). Two of us had a stomach bug. My mom also had the stomach bug. It just hasn't been a great week. If things don't look up in the next 12 hours, some of us will likely be missing church tomorrow.

In our homeschool this week...

We dug into our new Bible supplement. It's a New Testament lapbook from Homeschool in the Woods. The lapbook projects are cool enough on their own, but, also included on the CD-ROM, are a couple of additional projects. We started the "New Testament Times" this week. The kids will write various articles about topics we cover as we study the New Testament, which will take us months and months because we use Victor Journey Through the Bible, which goes kind of slowly through it (but with the support materials it provides and Bible memory work that we do in addition to it, we like it). When we are finished, the project is going to be fantastic. The kids are super excited about the lapbook and the newspaper projects!

Ava worked on column addition this week with single and double digit problems. Sounds pretty simple since there weren't any new concepts other than the extra numbers, but she had to work pretty hard to remember to write the one at the top of the next column each time she made a 10 in the units column (if you aren't following this, then you know why I use DVD and CD-ROM math curricula for my children). Day one, she missed almost every problem (which is as much my fault as hers since I wasn't supervising her directly), which has never EVER happened for her in math. Day two, we ignored the workbook and spent 30 minutes at the table with a white board until she was routinely getting them right. Day three (yesterday), she managed to do it in the workbook in a noisy hospital waiting room with the TV on, and she got them right! So proud of her for pushing through since, on Wednesday, she actually told me she was "just too young" for this kind of math. Ha! She's a funny one, isn't she?

Helpful homeschooling tips or advice to share...

Don't try to replicate the public school in your house. Replicating the public school at home will lead you to burn-out. One of the many reasons we do this thing we do is because we know there is a better way. It may take you a while to decide what the best way is for your family, but you will find it if you keep searching.  

I am inspired by...

My daughter's free spirit. If only I could be so willing to be me in every circumstance.

Places we're going and people we're seeing...

Hopefully, we're going to church tomorrow. We have one day of vision therapy and chemotherapy this coming week in Columbus, and then we'll have our normal stuff. I'm hoping to spend some time with a friend who is going through a rough season so we can catch-up. I'm sure we both need it if we can find time when we're both around!  

My favorite thing this week was...

I have a couple favorite things. Lukas wrote a spectacular article for the newspaper project, and I am super proud of him. His writing skills are progressing so well, and it makes me kind of burst with happiness (I can't think of a less cliche way of saying that right now. Blame it on my cold).


I spent this morning in my big cozy bed snuggled with my sweet, sweet little girl watching Tangled. I actually don't remember ever doing this, and I think we need to do more of it.

What's working/not working for us...

What's not working is that none of us want to school in the summer months, but this school year has been so filled with sickness and unplanned days off that I don't see a choice in the matter. Sometimes, you can't just make it up without extending the school year even if we aren't trying to keep up with someone else's agenda.

Questions/thoughts I have...

I am an American Idol fan. I know some of you are way over it, but our family enjoys it. We watch it on DVR so we can fast forward anything that's inappropriate (like last year when Lady Gaga performed). This year, I believe the talent is better than it has been in years, which puts so much more pressure on the contestants. My favorite for a while has been Colton Dixon. He won me over the week he performed Billy Joel's "Piano Man". Prior to that, I was on the fence, but that performance followed by a performance of "Time After Time" just hooked me. He also performed a Lifehouse song, his favorite worship song, and he has been vocal about his faith and his intention to make a Christian album should he win the competition. 

Unfortunately, I believe all that pressure from the producers to tone down his faith "if you want to win" got to him this week, and he chose to sing a song that isolated him from so many people in his fan base. I still voted for him, but I found myself to be confused,and, let's face it, Christians are pretty hard on Christians in the public eye. Lady Gaga is the opposite of what he stands for, and choosing one of her songs wasn't his best move. Because of that, this young man will not capture the Idol crown jewel this year. He was eliminated this past Thursday, but he is the real deal, folks. He displayed humility with a level of maturity far beyond what most people ever achieve. He apologized for his song choice because he knew he made a major mistake. We all learn this lesson in our lives, but he learned it on one of the most widely popular television shows in the nation, and he handled it with humility. I'm looking forward to hearing his album when it comes out. Yes, Colton Dixon made a mistake, but his music is going to be around for a very, very long time.

Things I'm working on...

My health, and not just because I'm fighting this cold. It's time for an overhaul!

I'm reading...Everyday with Rachael Ray's May edition. That's about it.



I'm cooking...

Roasted garlic chicken, roasted carrots, and mashed potatoes. I wish you could smell it. My house smells amazing!

I'm grateful for...

This house. It is old. It isn't fancy. But there is so much character, and these walls hold over 100 years of memories!!! I love that we know who once lived here because we attend church with her, and I'm grateful that my kids have space to do their own thing without being on top of one another.

I'm praying for...

Wellness. I am not kicking this cold well. It's still hanging on with Ava too, and she's had it longer than me. Lukas seems to be sniffly this afternoon, and Eric is still fighting a headache after yesterday's stomach bug, plus, he has some major issues going on with his back right now. We need a little wellness around here!

A photo/video/link/quote I'd like to share...

Click HERE to see a post-elimination interview with Colton Dixon. He's the real deal!

 

The Ultimate Blog Party 2012

 

It's that time of year again. The Ultimate Blog Party is happening this week. I love this blog hop. It's fun. It's simple. I can just write whatever I want without answering a list of questions. That should make it easy, right?

The thing about a list of questions is that it tells me what you want to know about me. It gives me a teeny-tiny window into the reason you might be stopping by my little cyberspot. Since I don't have a list of questions, which I've already told you should make this easier to accomplish (note: this is draft #3), I guess I should get on with my introduction, right?

Maybe it's not so easy. I'll just stick to the basics.

I'm Kendra. Many things describe me. Worshiper. Christ follower. Devoted wife. Mom. Daughter. Sister. Aunt. Friend. Homeschooling parent. Flutist. Singer. Home cook. Photo taker. Obsessive. Claustrophobic. Crafter. Care giver. Seeker of knowledge. Museum goer. Nature lover. Field trip planner. Nostalgic. Reader. History student. Detailed. Planner.

You get the idea. The first two are the most important. I love Jesus! Combine those two things with music, and I am on fire! I thrive being a SAHM, and I am so grateful for the vision God has given to my incredible husband for our family. We have chosen for me to stay home through thick and thin. I've been homeschooling my kids since preschool, and I love it. This is our 6th official year (counting back to when the oldest started kindergarten). It is what keeps me the most sane during this season of life when I'm spending much time helping to care for my most amazing mom, who is fighting stage 4 uterine cancer. I look forward to those moments when I am snuggled with my kids on the couch reading a great book, learning about moments in history, or discovering truths in the Word together during family Bible study.

Last year, we moved to a town about 15 minutes from my hometown. I love living here. It feels like home. People here are amazing and welcoming. I am a small town girl. If my husband would let me, I would have chickens and goats, but, alas, I am destined to rely on other people's wholesome local food sources.

Usually, my blog posts are sort of organized and make sense. This one? Not so much, but maybe that's because it reflects the way my life is right now. Things are a little more chaotic than they used to be. Things are a little too busy, but no matter how crazy and hectic life gets, God has everything mapped out for me, and that's the one thing you will always see when you read my blog. I hope that you'll return and check me out again! Leave a comment, and I'll take a little visit to your little spot in the blogosphere too!

Sunday Afternoon

This afternoon we had the rare opportunity to be home without the kids. They're in a musical at church (which I have no part in directing), and they had rehearsal all afternoon. So what did we do with this time at home? For the first part of the afternoon, we just hung out, both of us with our laptops on our laps, enjoying the company of one another with no specific agenda. Later we watched one of our favorite movies, and I touched up my mani-pedi.

I don't know about you other wives out there, but isn't it nice to be able to just simply be with someone that you know so well, who knows you so well, with no specific agenda? You can talk, or you can be silent. You can listen to great music together or you can sit in a quiet house listening to the breeze. You can watch a movie or not, play a board game or not, kiss each other or not. ;)

I couldn't resist. Heehee!

I know this is nothing new for most of you. I was just noticing what a blessing it is today. Being with  my husband on a quiet Sunday afternoon was just what I needed today. I'm grateful for this rare afternoon blessing.

Easter Photos

We got so many great photos on Easter that I wanted to post a bunch. If you haven't read my last post, you'll find some photos at the end of it. Here are some more!

 Sweet Willow Rose, my cousin's littlest one.

 We colored brown eggs this year. They turned out well!

 Time for serious photos. 

 My nephew, Rowen, in the rhododendron. I promise his dad was holding him there.

 My nephew, Zack.

 My Aunt Linda is a Grandma.

 My lovely sister, Cassie.

 My mom's youngest brother, Darren, and his wife, Marilou.

 My parents. I love them. :)

 Mom with three of her 5 siblings.

 Love this sweet niece of mine.

 Finally got a pic of my cousin, Corey, and his wife, Teanna.

 My Aunt Bonnie and her husband, John.

 My sister and brother-in-law.

And, finally, me with a handsome man.

Spring Break

Spring break. A luxury I said we were going to skip. Ha! I should know better. My sister and her family showed up the Sunday before Easter, a remarkable blessing because they were in Ohio for an entire week. We had the great privilege of having them at our house all day on Monday, and then I had the incredible privilege of hanging out with her kids all day on Tuesday while Cassie took Mom to chemotherapy. After that, we technically could have taken a couple days off school, but we didn't. It was all kinds of little things that really just screamed, "give up!" so I did. It was worth it.

Throughout last week, it was up in the air whether or not our extended family from Toledo would be here for Easter. On Friday, I got the news that 10 of them were coming, and several of those were staying at our house. Blessings!!! I was so completely excited. Mom was completely surprised. Hosting my aunts, uncles, and cousins was a blast. I would do it again tomorrow if I could. I hope I do get to do it again. It was...a blessing. I wish there was a word to describe it that was bigger than blessing, but, of course, nothing is bigger than a blessing. I guess it was a...monumental blessing. 

Easter worship was fantastic also. Our worship leader has been putting some incredible worship sets together recently, and Easter was no exception. It is nice to belong to a church family. We very much enjoyed being a part of our very large church in Grove City, but that isn't really what we need right now. We need the closeness of a family-focused church, and we have that here. Celebrating the resurrection with this church family of ours was wonderful. 

We wrapped our spring break up on Monday with a day off. Spring "break" was exhausting. The kids were begging to stay home for a full day. I was so wiped out. Plus, we always take the Monday after Easter off. It was the best day! It was also the day that we recognized having lived here for one year, but that is a topic for another post. 

Here are some picture moments from our Easter Sunday for you to enjoy.

 Kiddos dressed in the Easter Sunday clothes.

 My nephew, Jerison, climbing in our rhododendron.

 James, my cousin's little boy, watching Ava blow bubbles.

 My youngest cousin, Sunny, on my Mom's side of the family. 

 Mom with three of her siblings.

 Most of the grown-ups who weren't taking the pictures. Corey and his fam were hiding from the cameras.

Lukas with my nephew, Zack.

See more pics in a second post!

The Homeschool Mother's Journal

 

In my life this week...

Let's just call this a recovery week. The past couple months have been so insanely busy around here. Mom was in the hospital a few times, but over the past week, she seems to have taken a positive turn. Because she hadn't been doing well, last week, we had lots and lots of company here, and it was amazing. My sister and her family visited. I got to spend so much time with them, even more time with her kiddos since I babysat one day. They are so much fun!

Three of my mom's siblings were able to come for the weekend too, as well as other family. We hosted 22 of us for Easter dinner. I would do it again in a heartbeat. It was a blast. There were stressful moments (um...remember to turn the oven to the right temperature, ladies), but, still, it was so, so worth it! Easter is my favorite day of the year. Celebrating with so many family here made it the best resurrection celebration that this family has seen in years!

In our homeschool this week...

We had a relatively normal school week (just what does that mean, anyway?), which is something we haven't seen in a while. We took off last week, and, while I didn't necessarily feel like I got much of a break, the kids had a wonderful break. It was just what they needed.

This week, Ava worked on adding money, and we dug into Explode the Code. She absolutely loves ETC. We just got the new book a few weeks ago, and Ava has been absolutely begging to get started (We used ETC in previous school years, but we set it aside for a while this year). Truthfully, I am glad to say the book I purchased is beneath her a little, but we're going to do it anyway because I think she needs the extra practice and strong foundation for spelling and phonics. 

I'm working with Lukas on writing descriptive paragraphs with real words. By that, I mean, words like "puffalicious" are not an acceptable way to describe clouds in formal writing. He loves to be funny, and I have let him run with this, but, at the end of fifth grade, I think he can write something a little more formal than that.

Helpful homeschooling tips or advice to share...

Do fun things. Even when life is crazy, do things like backwards day (start school with the things that sometimes get left out of the day like art and other projects), make paper mache exoskeletons, take a nature hike and draw, paint, or do whatever makes school a little more enjoyable. If life is going 200 mph, chances are pretty high that your kids need the break from the monotony that school can become this time of year!

I am inspired by...

Nature. I could sit by a river and just stare at the water flowing past for hours or hike to a secluded meadow in the woods to read or write and get stuck there on purpose. God gave us a beautiful world to enjoy.

Places we're going and people we're seeing...

We have a soccer game this weekend, and we'll visit with Mom a little afterward. On Sunday, the kids have rehearsal all day for the upcoming children's musical. Next week, I'm having coffee with a couple of friends, taking Mom to chemo, and then doing the normal school and activity schedule.  

My favorite thing this week was...

Reading to my kids. I know that sounds so simple, but we just haven't had time to read for enjoyment with so much going on. It felt amazing to sit on the couch with a great book while the kids colored in their new giant-sized coloring books that were in their Easter baskets. More of this will make every week a little better.

What's working/not working for us...

I don't even know how to address this one right now. I love the opportunity God has given me to spend time with my mom during this season. It is the most important thing that we are doing right now, and I will never regret it, and I love it. That said, schooling on the go isn't ideal. It works enough because we have to make it work, but it means we do bare-bones schooling and none of the fun stuff. However, I wouldn't change this for the world. This is what we need to do, and so we do it, and I am blessed. Very, very blessed.

Questions/thoughts I have...

We have such a naive understanding of our justice system. I hope that you never have to find out how true that statement is.

Things I'm working on...

Balance.

I'm reading...Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle. Ava didn't remember it because she was 3 when I last read it to them. We are loving it all over again!

 
I'm cooking...

I think I'm going to make beef and broccoli this weekend over brown rice, and I might roast a chicken with veggies and stuffing. 

I'm grateful for...

Flexibility.

I'm praying for...

Mom's health, Dad who is doing so much for her, my husband who is facing insurmountable problems as well as severe back issues (bulging/torn discs. Yikes!), and my sister.

A photo/video/link/quote I'd like to share...

Love this family photo with the four of us.

Join us at The Homeschool Chic's website and post your own Homeschool Mother's Journal, or just click on the box at the beginning of this post to see what other moms have been up to this week!

Berserk

Oh, blogging, how I love you! I always thought that I would never stop blogging, that I would always find the time. That is obviously not the case the past few months. What's a girl to do when life goes berserk? I have these moments when I'm sitting at the doctor's office or the hospital or in the car or at the grocery when I think of 10 great topics about which I should blog. Of course, I can't write the ideas down when I'm driving, and I usually don't take the time to write down the ideas when I'm sitting in all those places either. I should, but it might be depressing to think about all those great ideas about which I don't have the time to write, so I don't. 

So what have we been up to? Lots of stuff. In fact, I think I might try to post about each thing individually because that's what my blog is supposed to be about, right? I'm not making any promises to you, but I'm going to try because this is what I do. I write. I think I've mentioned this, yes? Anyway, our schedule this week looks sorta normal, but everytime our schedule appears to be normal, berserk becomes overdrive. Or is it the other way around?

So maybe you'll come back and see posts about things like a marriage retreat, a visit with my sister and her amazing family, hosting 22 people for Easter, field trips, and more. We'll see. I hope you get to read about it because I hope I get to write about it because there is so much that I don't want to forget and that I want to share with you. 

I'll keep you posted.