10 August 2014

Hard. Change.

Yesterday I was texting back and forth with a friend. I have been rather emotional lately for what I perceive to be "no apparent reason." She often says profound things to me at just the right moments. This is why I love her. Sensing my complete exasperation with myself, my not-yet-organized house, the impending school year, and on and on I could continue listing all the silly things that were on my roster of inconveniences, she simply said, "It's called change. It's HARD."

Of course, then I decide I should write something today. Why? Well, it's been months since I have written anything. Moving is busy. Moving is hard. It is all consuming, and writing? Writing is merely a hobby for the moment. When I open my rusty little blog, what do my eyes fall upon but the last post I wrote in May. 

Easy. Change.

No kidding, that is my last post. God speaks, friends! You just don't usually expect Him to use your own words to speak to you! 

You can go read that post if you want, but the short version is basically that change is never easy even when it is good. Maybe especially when it is good in some situations. We are in that place now.

When we moved last month, I settled on spending my daily Jesus time on the front porch. Day after day, I sat in awe of God thinking things like, "I live here!" and "Only in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine," as I shook my head slightly from side-to-side exactly as I am doing at this very moment as I type this post. I would look at the little white church across the field from our house and shake my head a little more. God did this! Incredible!

And now, here I sit, a month into this awe-inspiring turn of events realizing that, as Mindy said, "It's called change. It's hard."


I am still in awe of God and how He has moved in our lives. I am still shaking my head from side to side with a small smile on my lips as I remember where we have been and what we have gone through and how much better things are for us, and I wonder what in the world is God going to do next? I have no doubt of the awesomeness of God because of this bumpy journey we have traveled.

God is good. I wish that wasn't so cliche so that it's true meaning could weigh upon you its full effect. God.is.good. Savor that. Rest in it. Hold onto it when life grabs you by the hair and drags you through a desert. I have been there, and I know. Different circumstances, same feelings. Different people, same grief. Different places, same sorrow. Different race, same exhaustion. 

God  was with me in my desert. And the blessings He has for me now? Abundant. Increasingly so.

I began this post wondering where I was going, and I am not sure where this writing journey has brought me except to remind me that, when I have an emotional moment, when I miss those friends and places and events that are so near to my heart and a tear runs down my cheek, it is with joy in my heart that I find myself so blessed to miss them. To leave a place and not miss it is true sadness, to leave behind no one that you love, to not want to return...that would be a true sorrow, would it not?

Today I see blessing. Yes, there are hard things about this great change in our lives, but it is the most humbling blessing to be where we are, to find ourselves wondering, "Why us? God? Why would you choose us for THIS?" for we could not be more honored to be chosen.

God is good, and blessings are abundant, and even then, change...is hard.

Good change. Sitting on the edge of your seat anticipating greatness kind of change.

It's still hard.

And God is there. In the hard change, you will find God if you look closely.

Go ahead.

I dare you.


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