I read a brief article today about sheltering our children. You may read it here
if you are interested as this blog post deals mostly with my personal
beliefs on this same topic and is mostly in reponse to having read the
article. A friend of mine wrote to me today asking me what I thought
about the article, and when I started to write back to her, I realized
that I had a lot to say about this very hot topic in Christian circles,
especially where homeschooling is concerned. Homeschooling aside, I
think that more Christians need to be working harder to shelter their
children. I believe that it is what God calls us to do. The following
is a more detailed description of why I believe this.
I do agree with
what this article is saying, although I don't think that I totally
disagree with my friend's opinion on the topic. I don't think that in
today's world it is even possible to over-shelter a child unless you
lock them in your house and have no media and are as perfect as God
himself. In our household, my children are automatically exposed to the
"real world." I don't know how most kids aren't regardless of their
schooling choice. Since we live in a very multi-cultural city, my kids
are exposed to other religions and cultures regularly. There is a huge
Islamic culture here in Columbus, and I think that about 1/3 of Eric's
clients are Buddhists. Just a trip to the grocery store usually
involves encountering someone who is noticably Hindu or Islamic because
of the way they are dressed. We have not taken the time to educate them
about other religions yet because I don't think they would get it
beyond the basic, "Not everyone believes in God the way the Bible
says." We will when we believe they are old enough to fully grasp this
concept, but, at this point, this is something that we believe requires
a certain amount of sheltering. Plus, there is the fact that we are
imperfect people who are from an extended family of imperfect people who
teach our children daily that we need the grace of God. My children know the non-Christian world.
Add to this
well-meaning friends and relatives who feel the need to expose our
children to things when we are not around, and they get a pretty good
taste of what the world is like. I don't intend for my kids to live in a
bubble, but there is a very age-appropriate amount of sheltering that
is a high priority in our household. I can't imagine how different my
children would be if they were public schooled. Sheltering helps them
to hold onto their childhood and their innocense, which I think is so
extremely important. It is one of the biggest reasons we have chosen to
homeschool. My child does not need to know what a condom is at the age
of 9, which is something we have discovered some of the children in our
church already know, and I'm talking about children who come from
Christian households and attend church every week. Please don't take
this as a judgemental comment towards those parents, because it
definitely is not. I have no idea how this child came about knowing
this information. I just know that it is not necessary information for a
child to know.
My child also does not need to think about dating at the age of 12 as many children
are doing these days. Honestly, I think that philosophy is completely
ridiculous. If a parent does not believe their child is old enough or
mature enough to choose a mate and marry, then what purpose does dating
serve? It merely puts their child into situations which they are not
yet equipped to handle because they shouldn't have to. It is our job as
parents to shelter our children from things they are not yet ready for.
I think there is a
very dangerous theme in a lot of churches and Christian households
today. For example, I have heard of someone who has decided that
allowing her children to be exposed to whatever they want on t.v. is
okay because she wants them to understand that when she tells them no
about something, it is very important. In other words, her "no" is too
serious for something like a bad choice on t.v. because some day her
kids might want to use drugs. So, instead of sheltering them from the
many, MANY poor t.v. shows there are and educating them about making
Godly choices, better choices, when they choose t.v. programs, her
household is, for the most part, a t.v. free-for-all. That is where the
danger lies, in my opinion at least. I don't believe that we should
ever purposely expose our children to ungodly things simply for the sake
of exposing them to the real world. I didn't need to smoke a cigarette
to know that it was bad for me because I was well-educated concerning
that topic. I didn't need to have sex with 10 people prior to my
husband so that I would know that he was the right one. God lead me to
the right one because I was educated about where to look and how to find
my way into the center of God's will for my life.
That is what
sheltering is to me. We shelter them from situations, people, and
places that they are not ready for because that is what God does for
us. We protect them from abusive people, ungodly practices, and
compromising situations, but, as we do so, we teach them the reasons why
we are doing so. We show them what the truth is according to God's
Word. We teach them how to research on their own so that they can make
well-informed, Godly decisions on their own.
A funny cartoon
character who tells ungodly jokes, uses poor manners, teases other
characters, or acts in any way we that goes against our personal moral
belief or the way we want our children to act is something that our
children should be sheltered from. Just because it is animated, that
doesn't make it okay. Just because a movie appears to be about a topic
that we think would interest our children does not mean that it is
appropriate for our children to watch it. I tell my children that
certain shows are not necessarily ungodly, but that there are better
choices for them to make, and that is why we make the entertainment
choices that we do. No amount of subtlety is overlooked in our home
because I don't believe that is what God would want us to do. It is
just another form of sheltering and protecting our children while we
teach them what is right and what is wrong.
This is a very
long reponse to a topic that is a very hot one for me, obviously. I am
sure that some of my readers disagree to some extent or maybe even on
all points, but this is where God has taken my thoughts in my journey at
this point in my life. We are called to train up our children in the
way they should go, and we take that calling very seriously. If more
parents did so, then I think that the world would be a much better
place.
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